Little Feminist MOVE-ment: 5 Yoga Asanas I Loathed But Now Love

**It’s Not All Love and Sunshine, Okay?**

Despite the fact that yoga is, at its core, a practice based in compassion, non-violence, and love toward the self and others, there are certain postures (asanas) that I absolutely loathed for the longest time. There is value in each and every asana, of course, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I—or any yogi, for that matter—loves all asanas equally.

In fact, there are countless asanas of which I am still not particularly fond; most notably, Chair Pose (Utkatasana) or “Awkward Pose.” A fitting name if you ask me. I still groan internally—and sometimes out loud—whenever a teacher guides me into Utkatasana. However, there are a few asanas that I once loathed some time ago but have now grown to love.

Let me tell you a little bit about them, and why I had the change of heart.

**1. Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana)**

Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) is considered one of the fundamental resting asanas in yoga. To be frank, when I first heard this, I almost burst out laughing because I still sweat and ache if I stay in this asana for an extended period of time. I can definitely hold it for longer and more comfortably now than when I first started practicing yoga, but it’s still one of the more challenging asanas for me.

Anyhow, I used to really dislike Adho Mukha Svanasana primarily because I was doing it based on how it looked rather than how it felt. What I mean by this is that I was trying to achieve the aesthetically pleasing look of the asana rather than make adjustments based on how I felt while in the asana: I would have my legs pin-straight and root my heels into the ground regardless of the fact that it wasn’t serving my body.

Now when I do Adho Mukha Svanasana, I allow my knees to bend as much as I feel necessary—which changes from day-to-day—even if this means that my heels hover slightly above the ground. This also allows me to better lengthen my spine and rest comfortably in the asana for longer.

**2. Staff Pose (Dandasana)**

Staff Pose (Dandasana) looks simple enough: you literally sit flat on your bum with your legs outstretched in front of you—flat on the floor or slightly bent—and keep the spine straight and long.

Simple: yes.

Easy: not at all.

It was the spine lengthening that initially caused me issues while doing Dandasana. You see, I have what some people—my lovely partner included—might call a slight hunchback. I’m kidding, but my posture is terrible. Well, it was terrible, until I started practicing yoga on a regular basis.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have difficulty with Dandasana, but it’s an asana that I incorporate into my regular yoga routine because I can actually see—and appreciate—how it is positively affecting my posture in the mirror each day.

**3. One-Leg King Pigeon (Eka Pada Raj Kapotasana)**

One-Leg King Pigeon (Eka Pada Raj Kapotasana)—or the popular folded variation—is quite an intense hip-opening asana, especially for beginners, which is why I really did not like this pose until recently. I mean—when you think about it—how often do you actively open your hips throughout the day? And let’s not count our sexual encounters, alright?

I can honestly say that, prior to starting my yoga journey, I didn’t do any exercise or movement at all during the day to actively open my hips: I sat at a desk all day; I went for the occasional walk or run; and I sat on the couch or rested in bed after work or school. None of which require hip-opening.

So, when I first encountered Eka Pada Raj Kapotasana in a yoga class, I was in for a rude awakening. I’m sure many yogis feel the same. Yet Eka Pada Raj Kapotasana has now become one of my favourite asanas purely because of its hip-opening qualities. I look forward to end-of-class cooldown simply due to the fact that it gives me the opportunity to stretch out and open my hips in this particular asana.

It feels good after an intense practice.

**4. Boat (Navasana)**

Much like Dandasana, Boat (Navasana) seems quite easy and straightforward to the observer: you roll back onto your sit bones, gently squeeze the thighs toward the tummy, lift your feet off the ground, extend your arms out in front of you, lengthen the spine, and—that’s it—you’re in Navasana. The difficult thing about Navasana, though—for me, anyway—is the core strength required to hold the asana for any length of time.

I’m undoubtedly one of those people who dreads doing any kind of core-work whether it’s sit-ups, crunches, bicycles, or anything along those lines. I can’t be the only one who feels like I have a core made of jelly, right? That’s exactly why I learned to love Navasana, though: I know that I need to do it in order to help build-up core strength and that it’s ultimately making my whole yoga practice that much stronger.

Navasana requires energy from every corner of your body, and you can definitely feel it afterward. I can often feel a burn even just holding the asana for five seconds or so.

5. Dead Bug

For a simple supine asana, Dead Bug is killer on the triceps and biceps. As a matter of fact, I initially did not enjoy Dead Bug because of the strange amount of arm strength it requires. For some reason, my legs are always fine in this asana, but my arms become limp little noodles and need to be released much earlier than my legs. It’s worth noting that I often opt for a variation with bent knees, so perhaps this explains why my arms give out much quicker.

I learned to love Dead Bug, though, because of how it makes my arms feel after an intense practice, particularly a practice that is wrist-heavy or shoulder-heavy. Reversing the blood flow and allowing blood to run in the opposite direction feels weirdly good, and it feels even better when you finally release the asana after a moment or two.

What about you? Are there any asanas that once made you want to head for the hills, but now practice on a daily basis and enjoy it? If you say Utkatasana, I’ll be impressed (also, teach me your ways!).

Little Feminist MOVE-ment: My Intentions as a Yoga Teacher

I’m Yoga Teacher Certified…Now What?

In mid-February of this year, I completed my first 200 Hour Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) course in Kelowna, British Columbia. I’m officially yoga teacher certified. So, now what? Am I going to teach in studio, online, to friends and family, or maybe just continue to grow my own practice?

Well, it’s actually all of the above: my hope is to teach online in the near future and offer pre-recorded classes on this very website once I get all the business basics worked out; my hope is to teach to all friends and family members who will have me (get at me friends and family members who want an introductory yoga class); my hope is to eventually teach in studio at some point here in British Columbia (when that becomes possible again…curse this pandemic!); and my hope is to continue to grow my own yoga practice each and every day on my own and with other yogis, teachers, and students.

I’m also excited to tell you a bit about my intentions as a yoga teacher and what I want to offer my students. I have three major intentions in mind: to guide classes that focus upon self-empowerment, particularly for women (this is the Little Feminist Movement blog, after all); to guide classes that emphasize compassion toward others and the self; and to guide classes that go beyond the asanas (postures) by incorporating traditional yoga philosophy to help stimulate spiritual growth and understanding.

Here, let me explain.

Self-Empowerment (Particularly for Women)

Speaking as a woman, I find that practicing yoga is one of the most self-empowering things you can do: it makes you stronger physically while also simultaneously strengthening and opening the mind. Yoga is actually the first form of exercise I ever did where I was not necessarily concerned about losing weight or toning up my body (perhaps some other individuals can relate?). Instead, I just wanted to become strong and gain control over my body, which I attribute to the mind-body connection required for yoga.

Although yoga may be represented as such on television and in films, it does not simply consist of sitting on a mat and doing stretches (well, sometimes it does, but that’s not only what it consists of). Just like other forms of exercise, yoga can be challenging; yoga can make you sweat; yoga can make your muscles ache for days afterward. Due to the physical stamina and dedication required, yoga is naturally a very self-empowering practice.

There’s also another layer of physical self-empowerment to yoga since—other than a mat and a few blocks—it doesn’t require any equipment: all of the asanas are just you, your body, and your mind.

And that’s the second form of self-empowerment that comes with practicing yoga: empowering the mind. For instance, while I’m practicing yoga, I often find my mind wandering to all kinds of things—what I did at work earlier in the day, what I’m going to eat for supper, random embarrassing things I did in eighth grade that creep out of my memory bank once in a while—and I have to find the internal strength to pull my mind back to the practice and present moment. There’s just something wildly empowering about recognizing that your thoughts are not serving you in the present moment and choosing to let those thoughts go, and that’s exactly what you get in a good yoga practice.

Compassion Toward Others and the Self

I began to talk about this a bit in the previous section when I mentioned that yoga was the first form of exercise that I did where I wasn’t always concerned about losing weight, and that’s primarily because the practice of yoga taught me to have compassion toward—and eventually love—my body and show gratitude for what it can do rather than resent it for what it cannot do.

Prior to discovering yoga, I had extremely unhealthy relationships with food, exercise, and, quite frankly, myself. If you’re interested in reading about my personal journey of discovering yoga, I talk about it in great detail in my blog post “The Transformative Power of Yoga: Learning to Love My Body.”

Additionally, the practice of yoga does not only encourage you to become compassionate toward yourself but also toward those surrounding you from loved ones to coworkers to complete strangers. The philosophical side of yoga—one of the Yamas, ahimsa, comes to mind, which literally means non-violence—is built upon the ideas of universal compassion and union. This is something that is so important to me that I include in my classes because compassion was something I was lacking in my life for so long: there were times in my life when I was not compassionate toward myself and, unfortunately, not compassionate or kind toward those surrounding me either.

I obviously can’t change the past, but I can practice compassion—and teach my students to practice compassion, too—moving forward.

Spiritual Growth and Understanding

Spiritual growth and understanding have overtaken my own life lately, and I’d love to be able to offer space to promote similar growth and understanding in my students. In order to do this, my intention is to honour traditional yoga philosophies, as well as the Sanskrit language itself, by incorporating them into my classes. For example—since I already mentioned one of the Yamas, ahimsa, I might as well use it as an example here, too—I might theme a class around the concept of ahimsa, share a passage or a quotation about ahimsa to help explain the concept to students, or perhaps even create a playlist for a class that reflects ahimsa. One could do this with any aspect of yoga philosophy, really: the Yamas, Niyamas, the chakra energy system, one of the Yoga Sutras, or any of the traditional yogic texts.

The traditional, spiritual, and philosophical aspects of yoga are so new to me but so foundational to the practice. I want to be able to share what I’m learning and experiencing with my students, and I feel that the best way to do this is to incorporate these aspects of yoga into my classes right from the beginning. I realize, though, that spirituality and growth look very different for every individual. Some individuals are only prepared to take on the physical aspects of yoga—especially beginners—and I’m speaking as a yogi who was once in this position.

But, as a couple of my instructors insightfully pointed out during YTT, all you can do is make an offering to a student. If they aren’t ready to engage with or experience what you have to offer at this point in time, it’ll at least be there for them to pick up when they are ready.

Little Feminist MOVE-ment: Addressing the Bikram Problem

Who is Bikram Choudhury?

If you’ve been practicing yoga for some time—or you’re a frequent Netflix and chill-er—then it’s quite possible that you’ve already heard of Bikram Choudhury and perhaps even watched the Netflix documentary detailing his life and misconducts, Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator (2019). If you’ve never heard of him, let me tell you all you need to know, though I’m sure the title of the Netflix documentary says it all: Choudhury is a yogi known for popularizing hot yoga in the western world (you might be familiar with Bikram yoga?), as well as raping, sexually abusing, discriminating against, and harassing a number of his students during his infamous yoga teacher trainings beginning in the 1990s and continuing through to present day.

In the Netflix documentary—it’s a really eye-opening but infuriating watch if you’re interested—we see Choudhury leading yoga teacher trainings in the United States wearing nothing but a speedo; we see clips of Choudhury verbally abusing students by making harsh comments about their weight and appearance; we see Choudhury forcing students into postures and even standing on their backs or hip bones while doing so; and we have the opportunity to hear from a few of the students he victimized in the past including Larissa Anderson and Sarah Baughn who both share their horrific experiences of Choudhury’s predacious and trauma-inducing behaviours.

The stories shared in the documentary are absolutely terrifying, heartbreaking, and soul-crushing, especially for women who are seriously considering taking a yoga teacher training. Choudhury’s abuse went on for decades before he was penalized for his atrocious actions, so it’s understandable that women might be wary of taking a yoga teacher training when there are threats like him in the field. For instance, another yogi who has been accused repeatedly of sexually assaulting and harassing his students was K. Pattabhi Jois, a yogi widely regarded for his involvement with the popularization of Ashtanga yoga.

After the sexual assault and rape allegations were made against Choudhury, he fled the United States and returned to India. The scariest part of Choudhury’s story is that it’s not over yet: he’s still opening studios in India and holding teacher trainings. Indeed, Choudhury continues to have a strange cult following despite the fact that he is a recognized sexual predator.

And that’s a problem.

**Choudhury’s Violation of the Yamas and Bodily Agency**

The Yamas—the moral principles that guide the way we interact with the world, our environment, ourselves, and the individuals surrounding us—are the first pillar of the Eight Limbs of Yoga, and there are five Yamas in total. In Sanskrit, the Yamas are Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmacharya, and Aparigraha which translate, respectively, to non-violence, truth, non-stealing, celibacy or precise distribution of energy, and non-hoarding.

Choudhury has violated all five Yamas throughout his teaching career: he was sexually and verbally violent toward students (a violation of Ahimsa); he still has not taken responsibility for his predatory and harmful behaviours (a violation of Satya); he stole bodily agency and dignity from many of his students (a violation of Asteya); he used his power to perform acts of sexual deviancy rather than acts of kindness or compassion (a violation of Brahmacharya); and he exploited the yoga asanas (or postures) for his own financial and material gain to an excessive extent (a violation of Aparigraha).

Not every yogi is perfect—of course—but Choudhury’s blatant disregard for the yogic tradition and his students’ sexual and bodily agency should be enough to strip him of his privilege to teach.

Really.

How is he still allowed to teach after what he’s done? How is his name still on yoga studios? How is he not in jail?

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

When I first found out about Choudhury’s heinous crimes—which was about a year or so ago now—I was distraught. I couldn’t believe that something so morally and spiritually wrong could be going on in the yoga community for so many years behind closed doors. My heart goes out to those women who suffered beneath his hand, and I can’t even begin to imagine how his actions affected their relationships with themselves, their bodies, their agency, and their yoga practice.

Luckily, there is a large group of yogis and teachers who no longer support Choudhury and refuse to associate with him and his practice. In fact, there are many studios that trashed their Bikram yoga classification and opted for the more generic hot yoga classification instead.

There are, unfortunately, still some individuals taking trainings with Choudhury, which is problematic and—to be quite honest—dangerous. Teachers like Choudhury are a rarity in the yoga community, but they do exist (as with most occupations in life). This being said, it’s important to let a teacher know if they are making you physically uncomfortable. Just because they are a teacher does not mean that you cannot confront them if they make you feel uncomfortable: a teacher should never have control over your bodily and sexual agency, and Anderson and Baughn make this clear when they hold Choudhury accountable for his actions in the Netflix documentary.

It’s not my intention to deter anyone from taking a yoga teacher training.

I’ve had an exceptional experience in my yoga teacher training these past four months and I’m grateful that I get to work with some of the most supportive, inspiring, and accepting yogis in the field. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences and I’d encourage any individual considering taking a yoga teacher training to seek out a studio and instructors with whom they are comfortable.

In my experience, the yoga community is far-reaching and beautiful and built upon principles that aim to make us more accepting, compassionate, and mindful individuals. I wouldn’t even consider Choudhury a yogi at this point. He’s so far off the yogic path that the individuals still on the path can’t even see him anymore, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t caused destruction, pain, suffering, and trauma along the way, and we need to recognize that as a community.