Category: Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency)

Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): The Supreme Courts, Abortion Laws, and Assault Defenses

What’s Happening in the United States Right Now?

It’s been about two weeks since a draft opinion of the United States Supreme Court’s decision to ultimately overturn Roe v. Wade—a 1973 decision that protects the right to have an abortion at a federal level in the United States—was leaked to the public. The opinion, composed by Justice Samuel Alito, discloses details regarding why the Supreme Court is considering striking down Roe v. Wade with one of the primary arguments being that it was not a well-informed decision in the first place since the right to an abortion, specifically, is not a constitutional right.

The people are in an uproar.

And rightfully so.

If the draft opinion moves forward and Roe v. Wade is actually struck down, every single state will be able to pass their own abortion laws meaning that there is a good possibility that Republican (or “red”) states—many of which are located in the south—will pass restrictive abortion laws or complete bans.

This does not only mean that there will be less or no access to abortion in many states but also that, in the states that do choose to offer abortions as a form of healthcare, abortion clinics may become much busier due to the number of individuals travelling from more conservative states to have the procedure performed. Individuals living close to the Canadian border may even choose to briefly cross the border and have an abortion performed in Canada since abortion is still, thankfully, available in Canada. However, since the leaked opinion made its appearance, Canada’s access to abortion has also come under scrutiny. Abortion is legal in Canada, yet access is quite limited depending upon the province.

My heart is absolutely aching for the women—and all individuals who have the ability to become pregnant—living in the United States right now.

What’s Happening in Canada Right Now?

Soon after the United States Supreme Court’s decision regarding Roe v. Wade was leaked to the public, the Supreme Court of Canada made an equally questionable and disturbing decision: the Canadian justice system is now allowing individuals who have assaulted another individual—this includes sexual assault—to utilize self-induced extreme intoxication as a valid defense in court.

What does this mean, exactly? This means that any individual in Canada can now get away with assaulting another individual if they committed the assault while under the extreme influence of drugs, alcohol, or other substances. The “logic”—note the quotation marks because this is absolutely not logical in my eyes—is that an individual cannot really be held accountable for their actions if they are too intoxicated to realize that they are committing an assault. It’s basically a defense of temporary insanity. 

This defense is a massive step backward—a misstep—when it comes to protecting women, children, and other marginalized groups from domestic and sexual assault within the Canadian judicial system as it leans in favor of the perpetrator rather than the victim; a perpetrator who, in order to use this defense effectively, must have willingly consumed drugs, alcohol, or other substances.

As an individual who studied representations of domestic violence—particularly against women and children—for multiple years in graduate school and who has herself been a victim of physical assault by a group of individuals under the influence of drugs, I am disgusted by this decision. Even if this new form of defense is retracted—which seems likely after seeing the public outrage regarding the decision—the Supreme Court of Canada should be ashamed of themselves for even considering self-induced extreme intoxication as a viable defense for assault.

I’m at a loss for words right now.

The Seemingly Sudden Attack on Women’s Rights

So, why now? 

This attack on human rights—primarily women’s rights and the rights of marginalized individuals—in the United States and Canada is seemingly coming out of nowhere and during a time when the whole world is still quite vulnerable from the pandemic that continues to sweep through streets, homes, hospitals, and workplaces: pandemic restrictions are lifting but laws regarding sexual and bodily rights are becoming stricter.

It’s possible that—with much of the world’s population caught up in the current pandemic—these new laws were more easily discussed and decided upon due to the lack of visibility in the public eye. This is just a thought that crossed my mind, of course, and I obviously have no way of confirming it. I just think that this is a very odd time to start reinstating old abortion laws and problematic defenses for assault.

You would think that the governments and judicial systems would be working hard at this point in time—after a massive global trauma has occurred—to bring people together and create harmony within communities across the globe, but it’s the exact opposite. Instead, this is a time plagued with division resulting from war, outdated and harmful violations of sexual rights and freedoms—including a recently passed bill that forbids discussions of gender identity in elementary school classrooms up until the third grade in Florida —and plain disregard for the human spirit.

I guess that old saying is true, though: when it rains, it pours.

And it’s a fucking shit storm out there right now.

Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): Life After Hormonal Birth Control Pills

Changes, Changes Everywhere

It’s been just over four months since I came off hormonal birth control pills, and I thought it was about time that I give a little update regarding how my body has changed, how my mind has changed, and how, yes, even my spirit has changed. It’s worth noting that this blog post focuses on the aforementioned changes to body, mind, and spirit that began to occur after I stopped taking hormonal birth control pills. However, if you’re interested in reading about my personal experiences of taking hormonal birth control pills for almost ten years, as well as why I decided to stop taking them, I’d suggest starting with “Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): Why I’m Switching to Natural Birth Control Methods.”  

The changes that I discuss in this blog post are unique to myself. I’m not a healthcare professional—but you already know that, right?—and I highly encourage every single individual to do their own research prior to starting or coming off hormonal birth control pills.

All of this being said, there have definitely been some difficult changes that have accompanied coming off hormonal birth control pills—my body trying to rebalance its hormones sometimes causing nausea in the stomach and pain in the uterus—but the majority of the changes have been positive, which is what I want to dive into today: the positive—I would go so far as to even say life-altering—changes I’ve experienced since stopping hormonal birth control pills and switching to natural birth control methods.

So, let’s get started, shall we?

Changes to My Body

The changes to my body are the most noticeable in my day-to-day life. 

First and foremost—you probably guessed it—my menstruation has become heavier, longer, less predictable, and a tad bit more painful. It’s pretty much exactly how I remember it being in high school except I have to worry about bleeding through my pants at work rather than at school. Only kidding, but not really kidding. 

Although a longer, heavier, more painful period sounds like a negative change, I actually see it as a positive change to my body. When I was taking hormonal birth control pills, I was completely numb during menstruation: I would menstruate for maybe three or four days—no heavy bleeding whatsoever, no physical or energetic shift in the womb, nothing—and be done with it. In other words, my menstruation was pretty much non-existent, which disconnected me from my body and feminine sense of self. 

Additionally, not only was I numb to menstruation while on hormonal birth control pills, but also to the other three phases of the menstrual cycle: the follicular phase, ovulation, and luteal phase. I had no idea which phase my body was in over the course of the month, but that’s—kind-of sort-of—what hormonal birth control pills are designed to do. In fact, most hormonal birth control pills stop ovulation from happening entirely leaving our cycles incomplete.

Because my cycle is now complete each month, I can feel and see slight physical changes to other areas of my body, too, namely my breasts. I was on hormonal birth control pills for so long that I forgot that the breasts can change throughout the menstrual cycle, as well. I’m not quite sure what the changes signify just yet—the tenderness and fullness—but I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I spend some more quality time with my cycle.   

Changes to My Mind

When it comes to how my mind has changed since coming off hormonal birth control pills, I have to say that one of the biggest changes is my perspective regarding menstruation itself. 

Here’s an unfortunate fact: women are often shamed from a young age into thinking that menstruation is dirty in some way, meant to be kept secret, and even a weakness at times. And I—like countless other menstruating individuals—believed these things for the majority of my life because I wasn’t properly educated on menstruation or the female body as a young woman; because of the problematic representations—or misrepresentations—of menstruation on television and in movies; because it is something that is just ingrained into our society (at least Canadian society, anyway).

We are taught—and not just women, for that matter, but all individuals—that menstruation is not something to be celebrated. Rather, it is just another messy part of life that needs to be swept under the rug and kept out of the public eye. 

My mind has completely changed in this regard: I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to connect with the earth; I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to connect with other women; I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to rebuild a relationship with my womb and the feminine energy that was missing from my life for so long; I now see my menstrual cycle as something to be celebrated and shared openly with those around me.

On top of the change in perspective, it’s also been my experience—though this surely is not the same for every individual, I’m sure—that coming off hormonal birth control pills has greatly reduced the amount of anxiety and depression that I feel on a daily basis. I’m not entirely sure why this is the case. Perhaps it’s because my hormones are beginning to rebalance themselves, or that I’m now much more in tune with my emotions and am able to express them more freely than when I was taking hormonal birth control pills.

My body—my womb, more specifically—is no longer a holding tank for pent-up anger, sadness, frustration, and confusion. Instead, my emotions are now free to flow and pour out as they will.  

Changes to My Spirit

You might be wondering how something as simple as coming off hormonal birth control pills could affect an individual’s spirit. Well, I wish I could provide an answer to that query, but it’s almost unexplainable.

I’ll try my best, though.

The changes to my spirit tie back to the physical and energetic changes I’ve been experiencing in my womb since coming off hormonal birth control pills. The numbness that I previously felt in that area is gone and my womb is alive again. So, maybe the best way to explain it is simply by saying that a piece of my spirit that was previously dormant has now been rekindled. My renewed spirit causes me to feel—and express—more deeply every day. This includes all emotions, not just joy and contentment: I experience sadness, grief, and anger more deeply. Yet, I’ve also noticed that I’m able to let go of said emotions more easily. 

In other words, my spirit just feels more balanced and harmonious. 

My spirit is more creatively satisfied now, as well. The womb is oftentimes tied to creativity and creation itself, so this only makes sense that my creative juices started flowing more freely when my womb became uninhibited by the effects of hormonal birth control pills.

I can’t wait to see where this journey with my menstrual cycle takes me next. I’ve already learned so much and am eager to learn more (I even recently signed up for a couple online courses offered by Womben Wellness, and highly recommend checking them out if you’re looking to reconnect with your own menstrual cycle and would like some guidance).

Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): Reproduction and Identity

The Problem with Reproduction as Identity

Since writing my last blog post in the “Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency)” series—which focused upon my choice to switch from combination birth control pills to natural birth control methods—I’ve found myself thinking quite a lot about reproduction and identity.

More specifically, I’ve been thinking about reproduction as identity. What I mean by this is that, due to the fact that women were historically and socially constructed primarily as mothers, caregivers, and life-givers, we’re oftentimes still under the impression that the ability to reproduce is an intrinsic part of every woman’s identity: she is a woman because she can carry a child in her womb. I mean, just take a look at any Victorian novel ever written. All you’ll see are representations of women as mothers or nurturing figures who are condemned to the domestic sphere. 

I’m overexaggerating, yes, but not by that much. 

This idea that women are inherently tied to motherhood is obviously problematic not only because it reduces women down to their reproductive systems but because it also insinuates that a woman is not really a woman unless she can, in fact, carry a child in her womb. This brings about an important question: what should we do with this part of our social and historic identity?

The Practice of Womb Worship or Womb Culture

I’ve seen countless women—particularly on Instagram—who built their entire careers around caring for and nurturing other women’s wombs: they hold rituals that revolve around the menstrual and lunar cycles, they provide tips for easing pain during menstruation, they offer advice on how to care for a fetus while in the womb, and they talk extensively about the womb as a source of energy.

In other words, these women talk almost explicitly about the power of the womb and why it is important that we embrace such power: a power that is closely linked to bearing children and motherhood. 

Now, this is a little bit different than those representations of women in Victorian novels I mentioned earlier primarily because it is a sort of reclamation of reproductive and feminine power. I tend to think of it as womb worship or womb culture (and perhaps there already are individuals who are calling it this).

And—honestly—I’m all for it. 

I love that women have been able to embrace their bodies and wombs and transform them into something extremely powerful. It really makes me think of the womb, ovaries, vagina as not just a reproductive system, but rather a well of power from which to consistently draw.

However, upon first glance at womb worship or womb culture, there appears to be an obvious issue: what about the women—and individuals who identify as women—who don’t have a womb, ovaries, or vagina? Or women who cannot or choose not to reproduce?

Can Everyone Participate in Womb Worship or Womb Culture?

I’m thinking about the women who have had hysterectomies, women struggling with endometriosis, individuals who transitioned to women at different points in their lives, as well as the women who might have trouble conceiving children or choose not to conceive children. In this regard, I think the fact that some women have really embraced womb worship or womb culture as part of their identity can be construed as problematic because it tends to exclude a lot of women.

Upon conducting a bit more research regarding what I’ve been referring to as womb worship or womb culture throughout this blog post, though, I’ve actually found that it’s not as exclusive as it initially appears. From my understanding, the womb is simply a representation of feminine power, connection, creation, love, compassion. The womb acts as an energetic space, not necessarily a physical entity. Therefore, an individual does not have to physically have a womb, or even have a good relationship with their physical womb, in order to participate in womb worship or womb culture.

Indeed, many wombs require healing and nurturing, which is perhaps why we’re seeing such growth in the development of womb worship or womb culture nowadays.

It’s also worth noting, however, that history has been so wrapped up with the idea that the things that make a woman a woman are her reproductive system and ability (or inability) to produce children that we sometimes forget that reproduction (or having a womb) is not an intrinsic part of our identity. 

In other words, a woman may choose to make womb worship or womb culture a large part of her identity, but it should be just that: a choice.