Category: Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency)

Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): Why I’m Switching to Natural Birth Control Methods

My Experience with Combination Birth Control Pills

Just a little disclaimer before I begin discussing my birth control journey: I am sharing my subjective experiences of using birth control here—as well as my reasoning behind switching to natural birth control methods—but I want to encourage all individuals who are considering implementing/switching birth control methods to do their own research and listen to their own bodies. Literature—not medication—is my area of expertise. 

So, I started using Alysena—a combination birth control pill—about ten years ago when I was seventeen years old. The reasons I started using combination birth control pills are pretty common to most teenage girls: I wanted to experience shorter and more regulated periods; I wanted to minimize any PMS-related symptoms I was experiencing every month; and I wanted to have sex without worrying about pregnancy because who knows how long that guy has been carrying around that brittle old condom in his wallet.

And I’m very grateful that I had the option to utilize combination birth control pills during my teenage years and early twenties because they provided me with the sort of sexual liberation that I needed at that time. Overall—other than the little bit of weight I gained during the first couple months of taking them—I had a positive experience.

However, I’ve reached a point in my life where they’re no longer serving me in a positive manner.

My Reasons for Switching to Natural Birth Control Methods

One of the main reasons I’m deciding to switch to natural birth control methods is because I’ve been with my current partner for over two years, and I’m absolutely sure that he is the person I want to marry and have children with at some point. I’m also now twenty-seven years old, so the thought of becoming pregnant does not terrify me the same way it did when I was in my early twenties and dating the wrong person. This is somewhat important because natural birth control methods are not as foolproof as something like combination birth control pills.

The other main reason I’m deciding to switch to natural birth control methods is because I haven’t actually experienced my normal menstrual cycle in ten years, which sounds kind of insane now that I’m writing this out. Because I haven’t experienced my natural menstrual cycle in such a long time, I’m feeling disconnected from my body to a certain extent. Combination birth control pills basically stop the body from ovulating, so my cycle has been incomplete for the last ten years. 

I’m just ready and excited to reconnect with the rest of my cycle now.

To be honest, I’m also deciding to switch to natural birth control methods because I only recently learned about the negative hormonal effects of combination birth control pills. I didn’t realize they had the ability to create hormonal imbalances that could ultimately affect an individual’s mental health.

I’m talking about the “big sad”: Depression.

Prior to a few months ago when I started reading Bruce Lipton’s The Biology of Belief—highly recommend, by the way—I didn’t realize the overall effects that a medication could have on the body. Just because a medication is intended to heal a certain part of your body doesn’t mean it can’t negatively impact some other part of the body or the mind.

My Natural Birth Control Methods

You may be wondering what I mean when I say “natural birth control methods.” Well, I am simply referring to methods of birth control that do not involve medications or any sort of physical devices such as a copper intrauterine device (IUD).

When I first told my partner I wanted to switch to natural birth control methods, he asked me why I don’t just use an IUD. I was tempted to ask him how he would like it if someone stuck a copper device up his penis, but I didn’t.

Anyhow, the natural birth control methods I will now be relying upon include tracking my cycle on a calendar, using a basal body thermometer to identify when I’m most likely ovulating, and abstaining from sex based on my ovulation date. 

Apparently, an individual’s body temperature changes just a smidge around ovulation every month, so taking your basal body temperature in the morning every day can give you a good idea of when you should be ovulating each month. When you have a good idea of your ovulation day during each cycle, you can then abstain from having sex for about five days before that ovulation date, on that ovulation date, and at least two days after that ovulation date.

It’s worth noting that these methods are some of the most unreliable when it comes to birth control, which is why I took combination birth control pills up until this point in time.

But—like I said—pregnancy is no longer a fear of mine. I am now more concerned with reconnecting with my natural cycle and seeing if the combination birth control pills were, in fact, affecting my mental health.

If you see me making a pregnancy announcement in the next few months, just know that I tried my best.

Again, literature—not data analysis and simple math equations—is my expertise.

Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency): Texas’ New Abortion Law

Zero Steps Forward, Infinite Steps Back

It’s been approximately two months since I first touched on the topic of abortion in my blog post titled “Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency): The ‘Abortion Debate’.” Since the publication of that blog post, a new abortion law—SB8—has been enacted in Texas. 

I really hope that two months from now—or even less, if possible—that I’ll be writing another blog post in which I get to discuss how the government abandoned SB8 altogether.

Nevertheless, we need to talk about it.

What do we Need to Know about SB8?

If you are unfamiliar with the abortion law recently enacted in Texas at the beginning of September, let me give you a quick overview: the law basically makes it impossible for women—or any individual capable of becoming pregnant, for that matter—to have an abortion after six weeks from their last period.  

A fetus typically develops a detectable heartbeat at six weeks.

There are no exceptions to this law, even if the pregnancy is a result of rape or incest.

Additionally, the government is dodging their role in upholding this law by placing all responsibility on the citizens to enforce it. Citizens will be rewarded—as much as ten thousand dollars if they win a court case—for filing a claim against an individual who aided in providing an abortion. An individual who aided in providing an abortion could be anyone from the doctors and nurses who performed the procedure to the friend or family member who drove the pregnant woman to the clinic. However, the woman who received the abortion cannot be sued and—if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest—the assaulter cannot be the one to bring the case to court (though any other citizen surely could).

This new law is absolutely unconstitutional and problematic.

Why is SB8 Problematic (if it’s not Obvious)?

This new law is problematic for several reasons, one of which I briefly touched on above: it is unconstitutional. If you have not yet watched Reversing Roe—come on, it’s been two months since I talked about this imperative documentary—I would highly suggest watching it. The case of Roe v. Wade basically set the groundwork for establishing the woman’s right to have an abortion when/if she feels it is necessary. SB8 conflicts with and violates the rights established in the case of Roe v. Wade.

Six weeks is also an awfully short amount of time for a woman to—first—confirm that she is actually pregnant and—second—make an informed decision regarding whether or not an abortion is necessary. There are so many factors that need to be considered before a decision can be made including her financial situation (can she provide a comfortable life for both herself and a child?), her employment (does she have a steady job, do they offer maternity leave, and will she qualify for maternity leave if she needs it?), her age (is she only a teenager or is she approaching an age where she might encounter medical complications during the pregnancy?), and whether or not she actually wants a child. 

Did you notice that I did not even mention her partner? I did this intentionally because her partner could potentially leave at any point during or after pregnancy, or she could decide to leave her partner: being a single parent is a reality for a large number of individuals. 

There’s also a chance that the pregnancy might not even be a result of a consensual relationship: it could be the result of rape or incest. So—this is where my blood starts to boil a bit—if a woman becomes pregnant as a result of incest or rape, she does not only have to live with the trauma from the assault itself but will also be retraumatized by a justice system that refuses to recognize her as a victim.

The lack of compassion, ethics, and logic that can be found in this new law is frightening.

Let’s get to Work

Honestly—I’m not going to lie—the fact that a law like SB8, which so plainly violates human rights, can be successfully enacted today scares me (and with the Canadian election in progress, we very well could see similar laws coming into place depending upon who wins majority government).

From what I’ve seen on social media and read in online magazines/journals, though, there has already been plenty of pushback to the new law. I’ve seen so many influencers on Instagram openly posting their concerns and working toward creating an online community of support for women and other individuals who may be affected by SB8. 

I’m also wondering how effective the new law will be in achieving its objective since the responsibility of policing abortion will be left in the hands of the citizens. Are there really that many people who are so opposed to abortion that they will be willing to spend excessive amounts of time fighting in court, even if they could potentially lose the case and the monetary reward that comes with it?

Don’t these people have jobs? Only kidding…

I joke because I really don’t quite know how else to respond.

I’ve heard so many people over the past few months repeatedly saying, “it’s a really interesting world we’re living in right now.” I don’t think it’s interesting: not in the slightest bit.

I think it’s scary.

So, let’s get to work.

Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency): The “Abortion Debate”

Abortion as a Contemporary Issue

In part one of this blog post series titled “Let’s Talk about Sex(ual Agency),” I focused heavily on the Sexual Revolution, the introduction of birth control pills, and the dreaded double-standard between men and women when it comes to sexual agency and identity. 

A subject that I neglected entirely—there are only so many topics one can tackle in a single blog post—is the issue of abortion. 

To be frank, abortion did not even cross my mind while I was writing that blog post because, well, I didn’t really think abortion was much of an issue at all anymore. I thought the debate had been settled: a woman should have the right to make decisions regarding her own body including the decision of whether or not she is prepared, or wants, to give birth to a child. 

Oh, how I was wrong.

Yes, I was aware of the “pro-lifers” who still loiter around abortion clinics on occasion trying to dissuade women from getting abortions. 

What I did not realize, however, is how much gravity this question of abortion, either pro-life or pro-choice, still has today; that is, until my partner and I watched Reversing Roe only a few nights ago.

Watching Reversing Roe

Reversing Roe is a Netflix documentary, released in 2018, that details the evolution of the controversial issue of abortion in the United States from around 1950 up until 2018. The title of the documentary is a reference to Roe v. Wade, a case that was brought to the Supreme Court in the early 1970s. The case was fundamental for the movement to legalize abortion in the 1970s as the Supreme Court basically concluded that criminalizing or banning abortion would be unconstitutional. 

Despite the decision made in the case of Roe v. Wade, what the documentary ultimately shows us is that, in recent years, the United States has actually taken steps backward when it comes to abortion, particularly in southern states like Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, Oklahoma, etc.

Many states have simply found loopholes to get around Roe v. Wade. 

One particularly disturbing loophole featured in the documentary is that certain states require that women have an ultrasound performed before they become eligible for an abortion. Perhaps this is partially done for medical purposes, but it’s quite possible that women are also required to have the ultrasound in hopes that it will deter them from having the abortion altogether.

Other states have closed a number of their abortion clinics. In some states, this means that only one abortion clinic has been left open. According to 2017 statistics, these states include Kentucky, Mississippi, North Dakota, South Dakota, and West Virginia. 

There have also been restrictions put on when a woman can have an abortion during pregnancy. I would advise watching Reversing Roe in its entirety to see the discussion of second and third trimester abortions, as well as “partial birth abortions.” Since the documentary’s release, there have also been new laws passed in multiple states preventing abortions from being performed once a fetus’ heartbeat is detectable, which can occur within six weeks of pregnancy for some women. 

Although abortion still appears to be a hot topic of debate in the United States, after I watched the documentary, I found myself wondering if the same could be said about Canada since, well, I’m a Canadian gal. 

I was actually quite surprised when I took a little bit of a deeper look into contemporary abortion laws in Canada. 

In comparison to the United States, the Canadian government appears to have a much more liberal mindset regarding abortion and there hasn’t been much of a debate around the subject since the late 1980s when the case of R. v. Morgentaler—a case similar to that of Roe v. Wade—was brought to the Supreme Court. Again, the Supreme Court concluded that banning abortion would violate a woman’s fundamental human rights. 

Some might even say that Canada is progressive when it comes to abortion since, in addition to traditional abortions performed in medical clinics, there is also an option now for an “abortion pill.” 

Nevertheless, abortion is still an issue that clearly haunts countless individuals, cultures, and societies.  

When will the “Abortion Debate” be Settled?

The day after my partner and I watched Reversing Roe, we began debating the topic of abortion ourselves. I’m using the term debating very loosely here since there was not much debate going on between us: he and I share similar sentiments regarding a woman’s right to have an abortion. We agreed that it is especially imperative to have the option of abortion when the pregnancy results from sexual assault or incestual rape. 

One noteworthy question that did arise between us, however, was the question of the father’s rights when it comes to abortion. Obviously, this isn’t a new question. I’m sure I could scour the internet for days and not even come close to exhausting the journal articles, live debates, and interviews on the subject. 

But it was new for us. 

What if a couple has been happily married for, say, five years and they accidentally become pregnant naturally? And the woman does not want to carry the pregnancy to term—perhaps because she is not prepared to raise a child or simply does not want to raise a child—but the man does? As is the case with making the decision to have an abortion period, these circumstances make the decision extremely difficult. 

Does the man have a right to keep the child, or should it solely be up to the woman because it is her body? 

On the one hand, yes, a woman should have the right to make all decisions concerning her own body. I mean, she’s the one who’s going to be spending nine months carrying the child, going through morning sickness, possibly changing up her diet and lifestyle to accommodate the life inside her, and finally birthing the child. But a man doesn’t particularly have the option to do those things, does he? But would he if it meant he got to keep the baby?  

I’ve mulled over this question regarding the father’s right quite a lot since having that conversation with my partner and, unfortunately, have come to no conclusion.

Because of questions like these, does this mean the “abortion debate” will never be settled?

The topic is not as black and white as it initially appears.