Changes, Changes Everywhere

It’s been just over four months since I came off hormonal birth control pills, and I thought it was about time that I give a little update regarding how my body has changed, how my mind has changed, and how, yes, even my spirit has changed. It’s worth noting that this blog post focuses on the aforementioned changes to body, mind, and spirit that began to occur after I stopped taking hormonal birth control pills. However, if you’re interested in reading about my personal experiences of taking hormonal birth control pills for almost ten years, as well as why I decided to stop taking them, I’d suggest starting with “Let’s Talk About Sex(ual Agency): Why I’m Switching to Natural Birth Control Methods.”  

The changes that I discuss in this blog post are unique to myself. I’m not a healthcare professional—but you already know that, right?—and I highly encourage every single individual to do their own research prior to starting or coming off hormonal birth control pills.

All of this being said, there have definitely been some difficult changes that have accompanied coming off hormonal birth control pills—my body trying to rebalance its hormones sometimes causing nausea in the stomach and pain in the uterus—but the majority of the changes have been positive, which is what I want to dive into today: the positive—I would go so far as to even say life-altering—changes I’ve experienced since stopping hormonal birth control pills and switching to natural birth control methods.

So, let’s get started, shall we?

Changes to My Body

The changes to my body are the most noticeable in my day-to-day life. 

First and foremost—you probably guessed it—my menstruation has become heavier, longer, less predictable, and a tad bit more painful. It’s pretty much exactly how I remember it being in high school except I have to worry about bleeding through my pants at work rather than at school. Only kidding, but not really kidding. 

Although a longer, heavier, more painful period sounds like a negative change, I actually see it as a positive change to my body. When I was taking hormonal birth control pills, I was completely numb during menstruation: I would menstruate for maybe three or four days—no heavy bleeding whatsoever, no physical or energetic shift in the womb, nothing—and be done with it. In other words, my menstruation was pretty much non-existent, which disconnected me from my body and feminine sense of self. 

Additionally, not only was I numb to menstruation while on hormonal birth control pills, but also to the other three phases of the menstrual cycle: the follicular phase, ovulation, and luteal phase. I had no idea which phase my body was in over the course of the month, but that’s—kind-of sort-of—what hormonal birth control pills are designed to do. In fact, most hormonal birth control pills stop ovulation from happening entirely leaving our cycles incomplete.

Because my cycle is now complete each month, I can feel and see slight physical changes to other areas of my body, too, namely my breasts. I was on hormonal birth control pills for so long that I forgot that the breasts can change throughout the menstrual cycle, as well. I’m not quite sure what the changes signify just yet—the tenderness and fullness—but I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I spend some more quality time with my cycle.   

Changes to My Mind

When it comes to how my mind has changed since coming off hormonal birth control pills, I have to say that one of the biggest changes is my perspective regarding menstruation itself. 

Here’s an unfortunate fact: women are often shamed from a young age into thinking that menstruation is dirty in some way, meant to be kept secret, and even a weakness at times. And I—like countless other menstruating individuals—believed these things for the majority of my life because I wasn’t properly educated on menstruation or the female body as a young woman; because of the problematic representations—or misrepresentations—of menstruation on television and in movies; because it is something that is just ingrained into our society (at least Canadian society, anyway).

We are taught—and not just women, for that matter, but all individuals—that menstruation is not something to be celebrated. Rather, it is just another messy part of life that needs to be swept under the rug and kept out of the public eye. 

My mind has completely changed in this regard: I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to connect with the earth; I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to connect with other women; I now see my menstrual cycle as a way to rebuild a relationship with my womb and the feminine energy that was missing from my life for so long; I now see my menstrual cycle as something to be celebrated and shared openly with those around me.

On top of the change in perspective, it’s also been my experience—though this surely is not the same for every individual, I’m sure—that coming off hormonal birth control pills has greatly reduced the amount of anxiety and depression that I feel on a daily basis. I’m not entirely sure why this is the case. Perhaps it’s because my hormones are beginning to rebalance themselves, or that I’m now much more in tune with my emotions and am able to express them more freely than when I was taking hormonal birth control pills.

My body—my womb, more specifically—is no longer a holding tank for pent-up anger, sadness, frustration, and confusion. Instead, my emotions are now free to flow and pour out as they will.  

Changes to My Spirit

You might be wondering how something as simple as coming off hormonal birth control pills could affect an individual’s spirit. Well, I wish I could provide an answer to that query, but it’s almost unexplainable.

I’ll try my best, though.

The changes to my spirit tie back to the physical and energetic changes I’ve been experiencing in my womb since coming off hormonal birth control pills. The numbness that I previously felt in that area is gone and my womb is alive again. So, maybe the best way to explain it is simply by saying that a piece of my spirit that was previously dormant has now been rekindled. My renewed spirit causes me to feel—and express—more deeply every day. This includes all emotions, not just joy and contentment: I experience sadness, grief, and anger more deeply. Yet, I’ve also noticed that I’m able to let go of said emotions more easily. 

In other words, my spirit just feels more balanced and harmonious. 

My spirit is more creatively satisfied now, as well. The womb is oftentimes tied to creativity and creation itself, so this only makes sense that my creative juices started flowing more freely when my womb became uninhibited by the effects of hormonal birth control pills.

I can’t wait to see where this journey with my menstrual cycle takes me next. I’ve already learned so much and am eager to learn more (I even recently signed up for a couple online courses offered by Womben Wellness, and highly recommend checking them out if you’re looking to reconnect with your own menstrual cycle and would like some guidance).